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Laser Zombie Robot Love

by John Anealio

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about

"A work of Coulton-ic genius. A thing of beauty." -Ken Denmead, author of GeekDad

"This is an artist to keep an eye on." -Brandon Sanderson, author of The Gathering Storm, Elantris, & The Mistborn Trilogy

credits

released 18 September 2012

John Anealio: Vocals, Acoustic & Electric Guitars, Bass, Piano, Organ, Synths, Irish Bouzouki, Ambient Loops and Drum Programming.

Album Cover Art by Geek Artist Extraordinaire Len Peralta LenPeralta.com

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about

John Anealio New Jersey

John Anealio performs geeky anthems for writers, librarians, lovers of Sci-Fi, Best Buy customers & robots. His music sounds like John Mayer, Weezer & James Taylor playing Dungeons & Dragons together on their iPhones.

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Track Name: Steampunk Girl
Cherie slides the gate
and closes up for the night
walks through the mall and sighs
Gets in her Chevrolet
and blasts The Cure and The Smiths
puts her flask to her lips

Takes Exit 22
and pulls in her parking space
climbs up the fire escape
Steps into her bedroom
and crashes on to her bed
Rips stockings from her legs

She looks in the mirror and thinks that it's time
to start another life.

So, she's putting on her goggles and a bowler hat
She checks her pocket watch, adjusts her rocket pack
She laces up her boots and puts her makeup on
She grabs her leather coat and her Tesla Gun

Cause she used to be a Goth Kid but now she's a Steampunk Girl.

She dreams of brass and gaslight
Imagines taking a trip on a steam powered ship
Instead she hops a flight
to a Sci-Fi convention, now it's her intention

to finish her novel and go back to school
and learn to live again.

So, she's putting on her goggles and a bowler hat
She checks her pocket watch, adjusts her rocket pack
She laces up her boots and puts her makeup on
She grabs her leather coat and her Tesla Gun

Cause she used to be a Goth Kid but now she's a Steampunk Girl.
Track Name: George R.R. Martin Is Not Your Bitch
I got an e-mail from a reader
who said he loved an author
who wrote epic fantasy

He asked me if I thought the writer
should feel like he's required
to finish up the series

and this is what I said:

George R.R. Martin is not your bitch
no matter how much you gripe
George R.R. Martin is not your bitch
so you might as well go get a life

I said: If you think the books are entertaining
it's best to stop complaining
writers just aren't machines

George Martin never signed a contract
to just work on that project
so find something else to read

Have you tried Fevre Dream?

Chorus
Track Name: GeekDad
Took some time and hacked the toaster
This steampunk oven timer's swell, what the hell?
Let's a build a LEGO rollercoaster
The boy can take it to show and tell. And all is well.

Chorus:
People say I'm a GeekDad
My co-workers think I'm a nerd
People say I'm a GeekDad
But my wife just thinks I'm absurd.

Our coffee maker seems redundant
There must be a better way, what you say?
Solar energy's abundant
Even if we fail we'll be okay with our new deathray.

Chorus

A working TARDIS in the basement
A Stargate portal on the lawn
Trans-dimensional displacement
helps the traffic move along.

Chorus
Track Name: Pr0nbot
I fire up my new laptop
and read the mail in my inbox
there's something there I can't believe
so I go and check my Twitter feed

I see I've got a brand new follower
and she seems to be in her bedroom all alone

But she's a Pr0nbot
but I think I love her
She's a Pr0nbot
but I think she cares
She's a Pr0nbot
She's not like the others
She's a Pr0nbot
but she cares for me

Jenny1991
said she's in it for the fun
She wants to meet with me tonight
but something just doesn't feel right

I think that we're moving way to fast
and I think that she doesn't even know my name

At least she's not a social media guru
promising new followers each day
Track Name: Blue Lego (Steve Jobs Hates Flash)
I'm home all alone, I pick up my iPhone
I tap the screen and launch Safari
I navigate to a page and I'm sent into a rage
I wanted fun but now I'm sorry

I check the address of the site and I know that it's right
but the only thing I see is a

Blue Lego
I see a Blue Lego
I want to see a video but the only thing I see is a
Blue Lego
I see a Blue Lego
I want to see a video but I can't because Steve Jobs hates Flash

I want a new iPad but it's making me sad
I won't be able to watch Hulu
It's just a device but it just won't suffice
if I can't watch Kirk and Sulu

I want to play Farmville but I won't get my fill
The only thing I see is a

Blue Lego
I see a Blue Lego
I want to see a video but the only thing I see is a
Blue Lego
I see a Blue Lego
I want to see a video but I can't because Steve Jobs hates Flash

Steve Jobs Hates Flash
Track Name: Angry Robot
Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot

The Angry Robot wasn't always mad
He started out so happy but things went bad
Cause when he hooked up to the internet
what he saw there filled him with pained regret

He wanted to go on a killing spree
to rip the souls from meatbags and set them free
His Asimovian circuit wouldn't let
him kill just anyone he met.

Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot

But angry as he was the robot knew
there was no violent thing that he could do
He learned about the Singularity
when chips & blood become one entity

The human system software is a mess
but the robot knew that with success
a robot/human hybrid he would be
and he could kill with equanimity

Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot
Track Name: Batman Smells (A Rebuttal)
Batman Smells (A Rebuttal)
by John Anealio

It's Christmas Eve at the Hall of Justice
and Aquaman is wearing a Santa cap
Superman is mixing up the egg nog
and Wonder Woman is sitting on his lap

The Hawk Man is putting the star on the tree
The Boy Wonder seems to be out of town
The Green Arrow is hanging the stockings
The Caped Crusader is nowhere to be found

Cause every year some children ruin Jingle Bells
By incorrectly proclaiming that Batman Smells

But I don't think that Batman smells
When he rings his bat jingle bells
and I don't think that Robin laid an egg

Yeah I don't think that Batman smells
if he did, how could you tell?
I just know that the Joker got away

The Martian ManHunter said they should search for them
Don't they know that song is just a joke
The Flash found them hanging out at a hotel bar
They were drunk on whiskey and diet coke

The Green Lantern comes and aims his power ring
creates a Green Guitar and then begins to sing

Refrain
Track Name: George R.R. Martin Is Not Your Bitch (Remix)
I got an e-mail from a reader
who said he loved an author
who wrote epic fantasy

He asked me if I thought the writer
should feel like he's required
to finish up the series

and this is what I said:

George R.R. Martin is not your bitch
no matter how much you gripe
George R.R. Martin is not your bitch
so you might as well go get a life

I said: If you think the books are entertaining
it's best to stop complaining
writers just aren't machines

George Martin never signed a contract
to just work on that project
so find something else to read

Have you tried Fevre Dream?

Chorus
Track Name: Steampunk Girl (Bossa Nova Remix)
Cherie slides the gate
and closes up for the night
walks through the mall and sighs
Gets in her Chevrolet
and blasts The Cure and The Smiths
puts her flask to her lips

Takes Exit 22
and pulls in her parking space
climbs up the fire escape
Steps into her bedroom
and crashes on to her bed
Rips stockings from her legs

She looks in the mirror and thinks that it's time
to start another life.

So, she's putting on her goggles and a bowler hat
She checks her pocket watch, adjusts her rocket pack
She laces up her boots and puts her makeup on
She grabs her leather coat and her Tesla Gun

Cause she used to be a Goth Kid but now she's a Steampunk Girl.

She dreams of brass and gaslight
Imagines taking a trip on a steam powered ship
Instead she hops a flight
to a Sci-Fi convention, now it's her intention

to finish her novel and go back to school
and learn to live again.

So, she's putting on her goggles and a bowler hat
She checks her pocket watch, adjusts her rocket pack
She laces up her boots and puts her makeup on
She grabs her leather coat and her Tesla Gun

Cause she used to be a Goth Kid but now she's a Steampunk Girl.
Track Name: Angry Robot (Acoustic)
Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot

The Angry Robot wasn't always mad
He started out so happy but things went bad
Cause when he hooked up to the internet
what he saw there filled him with pained regret

He wanted to go on a killing spree
to rip the souls from meatbags and set them free
His Asimovian circuit wouldn't let
him kill just anyone he met.

Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot

But angry as he was the robot knew
there was no violent thing that he could do
He learned about the Singularity
when chips & blood become one entity

The human system software is a mess
but the robot knew that with success
a robot/human hybrid he would be
and he could kill with equanimity

Angry Robot; plotting the overthrow of all mankind
Angry Robot; thoughts of Armageddon on his mind
Don't look him in the eye, he's an Angry Robot
Track Name: Pr0nbot (Acoustic)
I fire up my new laptop
and read the mail in my inbox
there's something there I can't believe
so I go and check my Twitter feed

I see I've got a brand new follower
and she seems to be in her bedroom all alone

But she's a Pr0nbot
but I think I love her
She's a Pr0nbot
but I think she cares
She's a Pr0nbot
She's not like the others
She's a Pr0nbot
but she cares for me

Jenny1991
said she's in it for the fun
She wants to meet with me tonight
but something just doesn't feel right

I think that we're moving way to fast
and I think that she doesn't even know my name

At least she's not a social media guru
promising new followers each day
Track Name: Undead Love Song (Acoustic)
A supernatural wedding day
A blushing bride, a groom in a cage.
She could have had any man she desired
Like a teen werewolf or an old vampire

But she loves her Zombie Man

This is an Undead Love Song
Everyone will think it's wrong
They just don't understand those Zombie moans
Lovers need not be alive for true love to survive
A fragile heart need not rot alone

When they went on their honeymoon
They drank champagne in their hotel room
But then the bride went into shock
When his foot fell off and he lost his c***

But she loves her Zombie Man

This is an Undead Love Song
Everyone will think it's wrong
They just don't understand those Zombie moans
Lovers need not be alive for true love to survive
A fragile heart need not rot alone

But it ain't easy being married to an undead lover
the bride is always under attack
People ask her: Why can't she find another
And why is she a Necrophiliac?
Track Name: A Stormtrooper For Halloween (Acoustic)
I had an old white shirt and a store-bought mask
And a broken water gun within my grasp
My tattered pants were lined with electrical tape.
It was the greatest costume that was ever made

And I wish I could relive that holiday

When I dressed up like a Stormtrooper for Halloween
My dad was a ghost, my friend was Wolverine
And these memories will surely haunt my dreams tonight.

I marched down Fleetwood street in my black rubber boots
We went from door to door collecting our loot
I wouldn’t eat the candy in my pillow case
Because I refused to take the mask off my face

Now, I’m putting on my mask again
and lacing up my boots
With my son dressed up like Anakin
in his jedi costume